Stepping Out & Stepping Down

In the summer of 2018, I was asked to apply for a teaching position. I never wanted to be a teacher. You can read more about that in another blog post, but what would unfold over that next year was something I never expected.

On top of taking on this teaching job with junior high & high schoolers teaching guitar, I had just agreed to take over the youth at my church a few month prior. Both roles I did not pursue, and felt incredibly unequipped for, but I knew God was opening these doors. I had to trust Him. Also, I am still the worship pastor at this time! To say it was a busy season is an incredible understatement.

Why take on so much?

As a musician and worship leader, I have always had those significantly younger than me on my teams in roles of great responsibility. My band regularly would minister at youth camps and weekend retreats. I have shared my testimony and seen lives impacted by what God has done in my life - on my teams and to those I minister. This seemed like a culmination of my experiences and that excited me!

That doesn't mean it was all sunshine and butterflies.

I would be a liar if I said I did not struggle. I would also be a liar if I said I didn't have some great victories. As a teacher, I was making an impact and able to preach the Gospel without preaching at all, to those who may never hear it otherwise. As a youth pastor, I was able to connect with a small group of young people and inspire them to live out their faith. As a worship pastor, my team was growing and I was seeing a maturing happening all throughout. As a church staff member, I was helping to shape the future of the church as I felt God leading.

Yet, I was feeling uneasy.

As the school year was coming to a close, the church was on the verge of completing its build out process. The youth was beginning to grow and I felt sincerely connected with several students. The worship was getting more powerful and the bar was raising every week. There was a buzz in the air! Yet, I wasn't feeling the excitement. I was feeling out of sorts - displaced. Everything I had been pouring my entire being into at the church was coming to fruition. Why this discontent?

Then it happened. The school offered me a full-time position.

Ah... That explains it. God was getting me ready.

Again, I would be a liar if I said I easily came to the conclusion to step down from youth pastor and worship pastor from my church. No. As soon as the offer was even voiced, it was a catalyst of long conversations with my spouse, close friends, mentors, and leadership. It took months. God had to REALLY show me (several times over) that I was to completely step down.

Stepping down meant a big loss of income. It meant walking away from the very thing I was helping to build and believed to grow. It meant possibly hurting those I was serving. Yet, God was still patient and persistent in showing me it was time to go.

I WISH I could say I easily came to that conclusion. That I wasn't so hard-headed and needed it spelled out in half-a-dozen ways. As I write this, it is still fresh and the uncertainty in my flesh is still a thing I have to battle. The irony is that I know God is going to take care of me and my family - He always has!

September 8th, 2019 was my final Sunday as Worship Pastor. The lead pastor wanted to have a "day of worship" and bless me and my family as we left. Despite the double amount of work it gave me, I sincerely enjoyed the day and could not have been more blessed by the morning. The people of the church were so incredibly generous to me and my family.

Did I want to stay? Yes. And no.

Here's the thing: I NEEDED to step down and leave. This is a smaller church and my presence would be a hindrance to the new leadership. People would still come to me and not to them. That isn't good for anyone involved or the health and growth of the church.

So, here I am. A pastor, working as full-time teacher. I am excited about what God has planned for me and my family. I am excited for the future of that church and can't wait to see what God does. It's certainly an unknown future, but I God has a plan!

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