Saying YES, Means Saying NO

I have been married over a decade as I write this. I love my wife dearly and we have a pretty solid marriage. In all sincerity, I would not be a quarter of who I am today if not for Alicia. As a spirited and discerning woman, Alicia is next to impossible to get anything over on and our friends will attest that she is hardly ever wrong.

So, what does this have to do with "Saying yes, means saying no?" Hang with me...

As a worship leader, I get regular requests to fill-in or even step in. As a band leader, my team and I are extended a monthly opportunities throughout the year. As a technician, I get several requests all throughout the year. Aside from the great honor and privilege it is to be sought after, it is also how I make a living. Regardless of the request, I am pretty good about sharing these requests with my wife before agreeing to them.

I cannot recall when exactly, or what the circumstances were, but I had shared a request and can recall the conversation going something like this:

"Wifey! (Yes. that is what I call her) I got a booking request for...)

"Can I put in a booking request?"

"What?"

"Can I put in a request for me and the kids?"

This is by no means an exact retelling of what happened. I just know it really made me start to weigh my time.

So much so, that I signed up for a time tracking app called Toggl. My account records show I started in the late winter/early spring of 2018.

With this app, I started to log EVERYTHING down to the very last minute. Every meeting. Every class. Every rehearsal. Every setup. Every teardown. Every setlist prep. EVERY. THING. I came to find out I was logging a typical 60-70 hours any given week with the frequent 70-80 hour weeks.

That is a lot of time spent away from home, or at least not really present.

Fast forward to the winter of 2019. Every year since 2013, my band has led worship for an annual youth weekend retreat called DNOW. This time around, I remembered to log every thing. I came to find out that I spent almost 90 hours for DNOW. What seemed like only a Friday night/Saturday morning worship set, actually took 90 hours.

How in the world does less than a 24 hour period equate to 90 hours of time spent?

I programmed all the video and lyrics. I spent a lot of time recording custom tracks for new arrangements. This undoubtedly would not have to be done again, but it was only an extra 10 hours. The real time spent? Rehearsal. Travel. Setup. Teardown. We had weekly rehearsals for a month leading up to the event. Showing up unprepared is not how I roll!

Did I have a good time? Absolutely! Did the band enjoy themselves? Always! Were the lives of young people impacted? Of course! And to God be the glory!!

But Saying YES meant, saying NO.

Saying yes to rehearsals, meant saying no to Friday family nights. Saying yes to ministering to youth, meant saying no to time with my wife. Saying yes to create with my band meant saying no to extra time with my kids. Saying yes to staying up late to record and programing tracks meant saying no to sleep!

Here is the thing: we all are given something priceless - our time.

Every person is given 24 hours, 7 days a week, to spend, invest, or waste. What return we have on our "investing" of time largely depends on us! Whether we are a child or teen with ample amounts of free time (my kids) or a dad of three working full-time and then some to try and make ends meet with barely enough time to sleep, we all get the same amount of time. Every day. Every week.

I wish I could tell you that I made a lot of money off of that event. Sadly, after expenses and paying my team, I made about $2 an hour. There's no way I can justify spending so much time away from my wife and kids - I didn't REALLY even make any money! So, when I get a request these days, I have to ask myself, "What will I say no to in order to do this?"

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Are you aware of how saying yes, means saying no?

How are you managing between the things that request or require your time?